Trying to find a playful voice somewhere between a Guy Ritchie gangster flick and Quentin Tarantino (primarily Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction), Bullet Train (2022), written by Zak Olkewicz (based upon Kōtarō Isaka’s novel “Maria Beetle”) and directed by David Leitch (Atomic Blonde; Deadpool 2), does miss from time to time, but it still packs quite the walloping punch.
Getting the most out of its fantastic setting, Bullet Train is set on, you guessed it, a bullet train. A journey from Tokyo to the end of the line in Kyoto, there is no better location for a comedic tinged action thriller than on a stunning yet inescapable mode of transportation. Providing a claustrophobic, ultra dangerous environment for our protagonist, Ladybug (Brad Pitt), he is a last minute replacement for infamous hitman Carver – a surprising blink and you’ll miss it cameo I won’t spoil.
Fitting nicely into his skill set, Ladybug is a snatch and grab expert. . . this mission needing him to extricate a specific briefcase from the train. His first job back in quite some time, he is working through his complicated past. . . his new therapist Barry having provided him with a number of tools to become a more zen, even peaceful person. He often bandies about sayings he’s heard, like: “ When you point a finger at someone in blame there are four fingers pointing back at you” – which he quickly realizes is only three, or, “You put peace out into the world, you get peace back”, none of which will help him avoid the rush of anger and violence that will come at him throughout his journey. Running through many of these thoughts with his in-ear liaison Maria (Sandra Bullock), she too will get a brief onscreen cameo at a certain point.
What he doesn’t realize is that the briefcase is merely a McGuffin for a much larger and twisty narrative that will slowly be exposed. He also doesn’t know that there are quite a few heavies on the same train. There are the twins (who don’t look much like twins), Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry) – the former hating the fruity monikers while the latter has gained all of his knowledge (including his ability to read people) from Thomas the Tank Engine. . . the pair have been tasked with finding and transporting ‘the’ mob bosses’ son (Logan Lerman) back to him along with the briefcase; a seemingly innocent girl named Prince (Joey King) who will become intertwined with vengeful Kimura (Andrew Koji). . . his Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada) will also find himself aboard at some point; a Mexican hitman ominously nicknamed Wolf (musician Bad Bunny); a poisonous assassin named The Hornet (Zazie Beetz); while the above mentioned mob boss, known as White Death (Michael Shannon) is said to be waiting at the end of the line; and lest we forget about that pesky, ticket wanting Conductor (Masi Oka). Before we move on from the cast, it is also worth noting that Channing Tatum pops up in another cameo as a rather eccentric passenger.
There is no denying that in the hands of David Leitch, the former stunt performer turned action director (who got his uncredited directorial start with Chad Stahelski on John Wick), this film looks stunning. Entertaining set pieces flow from one to the next, the numerous characters slowly being revealed as friend or foe. . . or friend again as things evolve. Props are constantly used, from the briefcase and water bottle, to plush Japanese stuffed animals, for both comedic and adrenaline pumping effect. The music also stands out – the soundtrack often featuring covers of well known American tunes that add toe tapping beats that back up the action.
It is also worth noting that luck, its opposite, as well as fate, feature prominently in the piece. Ladybug claims to never have any luck on his side, while the young Prince always seems to have lots of it. What happens when the two meet face to face? Meanwhile, the wise Elder extolls his philosophical outlook on fate, as well as what the Ladybug means in Japanese culture. . . just don’t ask about the meaning of plums. It adds a nice layer to the chaos.
Though it might be a bit too much fun (never taking itself very seriously), and it’s all a bit superficial, what can you expect when you get a bunch of people wanting to kill each other in close proximity. This has seemingly been its main criticism, but that somehow feels like it is missing the point – as this is all about flat out action and a little bit of witticism. And though a few of the jokes do fall flat, this fast moving train promptly moves on to the next moment that will wow or provide a chuckle. And, in the end, all of the chaos and twists come together for quite the epic, if outlandish, ending. So, hop on this Bullet Train for quite a bloody good adventure, and while you’re at it, try to figure out which Thomas the Tank Engine character you’re most like.