With this year quickly wrapping up, I thought that it would be fun to comedically reflect back on some of the films from the past year or two. To remind you of this Filmizon feature, what you will read are completely fabricated facts revolving around the movie world. Some will poke fun at silly aspects found (or ignored) in films, while others will satirize the supposedly real happenings of the movie world behind the scenes. Just in case you haven’t seen the films being poked at below, a very short synopsis has been added next to its bolded/italicized title. As always, feel free to try your hand at some movie comedy in the comments section below.
1917 – A harrowing World War 1 saga about two British soldiers attempting to deliver a message that will save the lives of sixteen hundred men.
A bold war story shot in unique fashion, director Sam Mendes films the entire narrative to look like one continuous take – making for pure technical mastery. Some early reviews, though praising the feat, have claimed that the technical wizardry makes the motion picture feel a lot longer than it actually is, which has led the production team to change the closing frame of the film, which originally read, “The End”. . . to “1918”.
Mother! – A bizarre tale of horror and mystery, Darren Aronofsky’s film finds a quiet couple’s rural life disturbed by an increasing number of uninvited guests.
After two years of confusion revolving around the gonzo motion picture (that is, for the rare few who have seen it), Aronofsky has finally agreed to change the title of the film from Mother! to Mother?.
The Irishman – The story of mob hitman Frank Sheeran, and his long friendship with Union bigwig Jimmy Hoffa.
You may be wondering which great Irish actors director Martin Scorsese cast for his 2019 three and a half hour mob saga. . . let’s see: you’ll find Irishman Robert De Niro, Dubliner Al Pacino, Cork County native Joe Pesci, Irish-American Ray Romano, Jewish Irishman Harvey Keitel, and a man with more Irish stock than any other known actor, Bobby Cannavale – a pretty impressive collection of completely Irish or Irish immigrant actors!
Tomb Raider – The 2018 reboot of the famed video game series finds Alicia Vikander taking over the role of archaeologist Lara Croft as she heads out on a series of dangerous new adventures.
If Tomb Raider has taught us anything, it is to have a loving gesture that is shared amongst all family members, for we learn that after thirty years of insanity and madness, Lara’s father, after living in solitude on a deserted island, is completely cured of all mental issues after his daughter flashes their thirty year old sign language – ah, the power of love.
Cats – A big screen adaptation of the rip-roaring musical. . . it all revolving around human-like cats.
After cataclysmic reviews and lackluster box office returns, director Tom Hooper has attempted to re-release a new and improved version of the film to theatres less than a week after its initial release – a very lame and transparently desperate form of catnip. Many are also wondering if this recent blunder may have cost Idris Elba all nine of his lives in regards to getting the coveted James Bond role – purr-haps?
Mission: Impossible Franchise – The continuing work of Ethan Hunt and the Impossible Missions Force, as they keep the world safe, one mission at a time.
After six successful missions, the franchise has been renewed for two more feature films to be written and directed by Christopher McQuarrie (to be released in 2021 and 2022). . . with two guaranteed pictures to come, early rumours are that the 2021 picture’s working title is Mission: Possible.
Disney’s Acquisition of Fox – One of the biggest film news events of 2019 was Disney’s purchase of 21st Century Fox.
In a world already devoid of original ideas, people were alarmed to learn that after acquiring Fox, Disney announced that episode 9 of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker would not, in fact, be the final film in the sci-fi franchise. With much excitement, Disney has recently announced the titles of the next three iterations. . . Episode10: Home Alone; Episode 11: Lost in New York; and Episode 12: The One Everyone Wants to Forget About.
Gemini Man – An aging hit man does battle with a younger clone of himself.
After a decade of struggles in lifeless movies that have led to poor returns and numerous critical complaints, what trick does the Hollywood machine have to restore Will Smith to his former star status. . . another lifeless movie that doubles down on the man by featuring him and his younger clone doing battle with each other – at least they don’t have to pay him twice. A weird sidenote, who thought it was a good idea to reboot Men In Black without Will Smith (the one franchise that has been successful for the man – of course, it too was a box office bomb).