The second Missed the Bloody Cut horror selection of this 2023, here are some more horror movies that did not meet my strict criteria (a rating of 7.0 or higher). . . but are still entertaining films (horror fanatics may enjoy) that do not deserve to be shrugged off like the lights going out simply because it’s an ‘old home’ – and that they are definitely worth a watch (just maybe not several re-watches).
Perhaps it is three and a half decades of The Simpsons playing tricks on my mind, but is it just slightly ominous when you arrive at a house you’re considering purchasing and the real estate agent’s name is Mr. Burns (Howard Weiss)? Well, it certainly seems so with Evil Laugh (1986), directed by Dominick Brascia.
The house in question is massive, a secluded white stucco California abode that comes off all hip and happening, but for the fact a mass murder took place there a decade ago. . . which seems to have scared every possible buyer off (the disembodied voice in the closet doesn’t help either). But not for soon to be doctor Jerry (Gary Hays), who, with his girlfriend, Connie (Kim McKamy, aka Ashlyn Gere), is planning on restoring the place (which was originally a foster house and orphanage), into some sort of pediatric getaway for kids – one thing is for sure, murderous ghost stories will be on the docket for those sickly kids. I’m sure they’ll get better oh-so-fast in the old murder house.
With rumors swirling that the original murderer somehow evaded the fire that took part of the building, it is probably wise that Jerry hasn’t told his buddies who are coming to help fix the house the dreaded back story. In comes cocky Johnny Bellati (Steven Baio – brother of Scott, he also co-wrote and produced this film), ultra athletic Mark (Myles O’Brien), perky and ultimately ditzy Tina (Jody Gibson), snooty rich couple Sammy (Tony Griffin – Merv’s son) and Betty (Karyn O’Bryan), and horror geek Barney Weiss (Jerold Pearson).
Oddly enough, by the time they all arrive, Jerry’s already missing. . . and the audience knows exactly what has happened. Outside of nervous horror fiend Barney, they shrug it off (as well as the disembodied voice – after all, these old houses still need their foundations to settle), getting to work, they are the goofiest cleaners and most dubious gang of future doctors you will ever see. Soon, the Chief of Police, slow-mo Cash (Hal Shafer) is knocking – looking for a grocery clerk (Tom Shell) who hasn’t returned since delivering food to the home.
Again, just shrug it off (except for Barney), as they’ve got to eat dinner. . . they’re bougie though, they are having calf’s heart for supper. Despite all of Barney’s warnings (he desperately wants to leave), a couple plan to have sex – instant death according to their horror expert friend, while the rest split up into smaller and much more easily killable pairs.
A mess of a movie, Evil Laugh does by no way exude quality, but it does prove to be self-aware, with Barney being the stand-in for the audience. Adding touches of comedy that foreshadow the coming of the Scream and Scary Movie franchises, he picks apart each and every flaw of his compatriots, all while referencing horror flick after horror flick along the way (he’s definitely a fan of Halloween and Friday the 13th). It probably doesn’t hurt that he is constantly reading a Fangoria magazine for guidance. The other true highlight is the ending, another tongue-in-cheek moment that is sure to bring a smile to the face of slasher genre fans.
A sloppy, slap-happy, silly slasher flick, Evil Laugh might not be considered good, but you might not want it any other way. One thing is for sure, the cast and crew seem to be having a whole lot of fun. So, enter this murder mansion if you dare. . . but if you do, please listen to Barney.
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Usually, a student’s Graduation Day (1981) is one of the most exciting parts of their young life, but when one of your own dies in a tragic track and field blood clot incident just a couple of months before the all-important moment, that puts a bit of a damper on things.
Co-written and directed by Herb Freed, the small town California high school is in mourning. . . especially dead Laura’s (Ruth Ann Llorens) fellow track mates. Her beau, artsy Kevin (E. Danny Murphy), is really torn up. Her angry sister, Anne (Patch Mackenzie), who is in the Navy, has just flown in from Guam for the Graduation (which will feature a tribute). Poor track Coach George Michaels (Christopher George), is being blamed for pushing his students too hard – and will be let go as soon as the year is over. . . plus, the name doesn’t help either.
Soon, one by one, all of Laura’s teammates start disappearing (at least, that’s what those who haven’t seen what we have believe). . . oddly, it always seems to be soon after they bump into cheerleading friends Doris (Vanna White – exactly who you are thinking) and Joanne (Karen Abbott). Much to the chagrin of Principal Guglione (Michael Pataki), the parents want him to explain where their children have gone. . . it doesn’t help that disgruntled secretary Blondie (E.J. Peaker) continuously puts every call through, despite his many objections.
One thing is for sure, none of these teenagers seem to be having any luck spinning the wheel of fortune. Funnily enough, the leather glove store in town must be very successful, for nearly each and every character has a pair. . . and the killer utilizes said article of clothing, as well as fencing gear and a stopwatch to off his or her victims. Could it be the wordsmith cheerleaders who are around every corner? Might it be the angry Navy trained sister? Will it be her pained boyfriend? Or how about the disgruntled teacher losing his job for attempting to better his students’ scholarship chances? And then there is Mr. Roberts, a slimy former Hollywood elite who is now the music teacher (coming off more like a cheesy jingle writer than anything), a guy who thrives in showing off to his students and is fine with being seduced by teen Dolores (Linnea Quigley) – his behaviour might just make him a possible suspect as well. But don’t worry, pot smoking rent-a-cop MacGregor (Golden Glove boxing champ Virgil Frye) is on the case – everything should be just fine.
A mishmash of flashy editing and 80s era music, this film is somewhat well put together, but the mismatched acting kind of hinders it. Sometimes it’s cheesy, sometimes it’s simply bad, but at least the story somewhat holds up. The gloves make everyone a suspect, while the frustration of so many characters further adds to our suspicion. Then there are the creative kills. . . though you know it has got to be personal, because no serial killer in their right mind would be stupid enough to choose teenage track stars as the group of victims he or she wants to hunt.
Feeding heavily into the slasher vibes of the time, Graduation Day certainly has its moments, both horror filled and eye-rolling. It also features a pretty impressive live performance from the L.A. New Wave rock band Felony – no wonder there were no witnesses to any of the murders going on in the film. . . what a distraction. So, grab your black gloves and enjoy this one, for in this era of it being near impossible to fail students, it gets a pass.