Sometimes going into a movie with low expectations can be a good thing. As I was perusing a discount store one day, I came across a film titled Suck – a rather ominous moniker I must say. Yet the premise, which pays homage to rock and roll while also spoofing vampiric horror in a comedic way, sounded like it could be fun. Plus, the back cover explained that it boasted a rocking soundtrack while featuring cameos from legends like Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop, so I picked up the Blu-Ray for a whopping three dollars.
In reality though, it was not one of those movies that you pop into your player as soon as you get home. It sat around for nearly six months, falling prey to my doubt (as the film felt like it would not be very good), while also losing out to countless classics or better known titles along the way. As you can undoubtably guess, I did watch Suck and was surprised to find out that the title was quite misleading.
The story follows a down and out rock band, ironically called The Winners, as they struggle to gain any traction in their tenth year of being together. After another uneventful gig, lead singer and head honcho Joey (Rob Stefaniuk – also the writer/director) is told in a roundabout way by their manager Jeff (comedy legend Dave Foley) that he is quitting, further adding to the singer’s dismay. Yet, it is also at this rather ordinary bar where things begin to change. Bassist Jennifer (Jessica Paré – Mad Men, Brooklyn), who used to be an item with Joey (though is now treated rather poorly by her former man), heads out after the gig with a rather ominous looking figure named Queeny (Dimitri Coats – frontman for the hard rock band Burning Brides), while Joey meets another unusual gent, the spooky mind-reader/bartender (Alice Cooper) – who will continue to pop into his life or dreams from time to time. Big fans of the rocker may also catch a glimpse of his daughter Calico as the barmaid.
Jennifer does not return from her night’s adventure and Joey makes the difficult decision to move on without her – giving their French Canadian roadie Hugo (Chris Ratz) a chance at playing bass in Toronto.
The sole female member eventually does arrive at the gig, though she has seemingly changed – looking pale and rather goth-like. Though an issue arises at this particular show, comments on The Winners’ website suggest that she has enamoured the small crowd.
Long story short, Queeny was a vampire that turned the bassist into a creature of the night (though she is able to be out in the sun, yet it makes her feel sick). A hunter named Eddie Van Halen, I mean Helsing (Malcolm McDowell), who lost his wife to Queeny, has picked up the trail of the newly minted vampire and follows them from show to show (seeming like a sort of super fan with a vengeance).
Joey struggles with this newfound change and quickly creates a set of rules for the band – including Jennifer not turning any of the other members into vampires. Guitarist Tyler (Paul Anthony) and drummer Sam (Mike Lobel) are eventually seduced by her intoxicating manner – clearly symbolism for selling your soul for fame. After a radio stunt on icon Rockin’ Roger’s (Henry Rollins) show that helps them go viral, it seems as though nothing can stop them from reaching the heights that they have always dreamed of (manager Jeff quickly re-joins the gang once they have gained traction).
Even Joey eventually falls for the dark side and the group perform their explosive new hit Suck – a surprisingly good tune. But will the band be able to live with the evil they have embraced? Will the harbinger of light, slayer Van Helsing catch up with them? Sucks, I know, but you will have to watch it to find out.
Suck is a weird mix to be sure – fusing together equal parts horror and comedy within the guise of a rock n’ roll musical, the tale is tough to pin down. Having spent enough time with rock bands, the story is rather fitting of that life – the band goes from gig to gig, making the story sometimes feel a tad slow, though it truly captures the monotony of day to day life while on tour. Though this may sound dull, it is the mixture of comedy and horror found within these moments that drives the story forward (and although at times there are gory parts, the film aims for a more comedic slant than one of never-ending violence). A meeting with a seemingly unfriendly and unorthodox American border guard (played masterfully by Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson) or roadie Hugo’s annoyance at being used by the band (and particularly by Jennifer) in each and every situation (which slowly turns him into a clever reworking of Renfield from 1931’s Dracula) perfectly encapsulates the comedy and horror of life on the road.
Filmizon.com’s Nikolai Adams with actor Malcolm McDowell, who stars as vampire slayer Eddie Van Helsing in the cult flick Suck
Also, there are the superb performances and cameos. Paré is ravishing as the goth vamp, who clearly struggles with keeping her feeding/killing under control. The rest of the band are also sharp and entertaining, but she is the clear standout of the group. Yet, it is Chris Ratz’s roadie character Hugo that is the true scene stealer. He is absolutely hilarious and truly deserves some credit for why this movie had several laugh out loud moments. McDowell is, as always, sharp, constructing an entertaining counterpunch to the villainous anti-heroes (who are actually the protagonists). He is, at times, intense, and at others droll, as the hunter who is afraid of the dark and always carries a flashlight. One scene that especially stands out is a flashback where they edited footage from the 1973 flick O Lucky Man! into the film (and it looks flawless). All that I really need to add about Foley is that he is funny, like he is in most things.
As for the cameo appearances, Alice Cooper is superbly creepy – and probably did not need to add too much makeup to fit into his role. Iggy Pop is the other rock icon who has a rather lengthy appearance, playing a guy who is a record producer that warns Joey of the perils of hanging around vampires – as you can imagine, they’ll suck the life right out of you (sorry, that was my cheesy addition). Pop does not look at all out of place and does a solid job in the role. It is no surprise that Alex Lifeson creates a unique character for the movie (as the comedy sketches done for Rush’s Time Machine Tour are just one example of the band’s campy acting skills). The added scene where Van Helsing crosses the border following The Winners is also a nice touch. Henry Rollins is perfect as the edgy, gimmicky and rather slimy radio host. Musician Moby is also memorable as the lead singer of a grunge band in Buffalo – who has meat thrown at them on stage (rather humourous as he is an ardent supporter of animal rights and a known vegan). Also keep an eye open for a cameo from Carole Pope – best known as lead singer for the rock group Rough Trade.
There are also some rather obvious but fun music references, including re-enactments of The Beatles’ Abbey Road, The Who’s The Kids Are Alright and Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA album covers.
The movie also has some visual flair. Though I do not agree with some of the choices (especially the shaky vampire thing), the aesthetic of the film feels right. The makeup is stunning and the outfits work. The stop motion animation to show the band’s journey from city to city also adds a playful feeling to the transitions.
Suck was never a big hit nor will it ever be considered a great film, yet it very well could fall into the realm of being a ‘cult classic’. Though there are a lot of clichés in the movie (ranging from the manager to vamp lore), it is all done in a fun and entertaining way that doesn’t feel bland or dated. And though there are some issues with the story and pacing, the tale, for the most part, works well – the songs written for the film are surprisingly catchy, the acting strong, the cameos feel more than cool, while a few good gory scenes and a number of decent laughs show up along the way. So, ignore this film’s title, or don’t for that matter – instead, grab a straw and suck away.