‘What Could Have Been’ is a continuing look into the reels of film history, analysing movies that could have been something special, but due to problems with script, production, budgetary, or any other type of issue, did not reach its full potential.
Coming off as a low grade imitation of a Steven Seagal style movie. . . but without the flair, 1989’s Red Surf, co-written and directed by H. Gordon Boos, is perhaps most intriguing for featuring George Clooney in one of his first cinematic starring roles, and Gene Simmons as his demented moral compass and kick-ass compatriot (or maybe it should be kiss-ass).
Beating Point Break to the surfer storyline by a full two years, Clooney plays former hang ten icon Remar, who, after some knee issues, has decided to get his highs from smuggling and using drugs instead. Surrounded by a team of just as impressive low lifes, including number two Attila (Doug Savant) – funnily enough, ‘hun’ works quite well to describe him (as he is the closest thing you’ll find to a good guy in this story), chatty True Blue (Philip McKeon) – who would be a perfect hire for one of those ‘this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs’ adverts, strutter Doc (Gene Simmons – perhaps short for Dr. Love?) – an advisor, mechanic, medic, assassin, Sea-Doo expert, weapons specialist, and drug dealer extraordinaire (funnily enough, he shows no proclivity towards music), as well as a slew of other under-developed lackies. And lest we forget about Remar’s newly pregnant girlfriend, Rebecca (Dedee Pfeiffer – yes, Michelle’s sister) – a beautiful young woman looking to escape the tumult of this druggie life and start anew in Portland. . . putting her living on the edge beau in an unwanted and rather complex predicament.
These oceanside scabby sea basses supply their smuggled product to a wolf wielding, candle lighting, drug den living big boss named Calavera (Rick Najera). . . don’t let his ill fitting suits fool you, he’s just as much of a low life as anyone else, just with a bit more money (but not enough to dress the part). Guarded by his loyal henchman Bullet (Eddie Frias), he is not to be messed with. . . he even has a deadly trap door for under performing or back stabbing employees (beware – it leads right to the underfed beasts. . . giving a whole new meaning to wolf down your food).
Following the age old plot device of doing just one more job to hit it big, Remar’s team attempt to cut him out (after all, he’s going to be a father). . . the crew still mostly going to give him the cash for his fairytale getaway to Oregon (now there’s a more original plot device). You might have caught one of the problems – none of these guys would succeed at planning a surprise birthday party, let alone one of the biggest Pacific Ocean drug trafficking operations L.A. has ever seen. Just bound to go wrong, you might be able to guess who the weakest link is, and that prediction really is that easy to make. Leading to some late night treachery, followed by a revenge-filled response that will sadly disturb those lit candles, things are going to be hotter than hell, that’s for sure.
Though not incompetent in its narrative, the story generally comes off as a bit bland. . . and a touch half-baked. . . though there is a certain charm to its late 80s punk rock aesthetic. For many, it will be a treat to see a young George Clooney in a role that is utterly unlike his much more polished modern persona. . . you don’t see him hitting a crack pipe or simply looking unkempt in too much else. You also have to wonder if Simmons’ (pictured right, next to Filmizon.com’s Nikolai Adams) contract stated that he had to come across as cool in the picture, as he really can do no harm. . . he’s like a much slower moving John Wick – never missing, he always seems to be at the right place at the right time. Yet the biggest surprise will likely be how endearing Savant is as Attila. . . after watching it, you might wonder why his career didn’t evolve in a similar way to Clooney’s.
If you’re in the mood for a greasy, base level B movie with a future star, a bass playing Demon trying his hand at acting, as well as some guns, drugs, and righteous wipeouts, then Red Surf might just be for you. So, enjoy some lowlife highs with this bomb of a movie, it’s a tidal wave of abysmal action goodness.