‘What Could Have Been’ is a continuing look into the reels of film history, analysing movies that could have been something special, but due to problems with script, production, budgetary, or any other type of issue, did not reach its full potential.
A film that can only be described as perfect weekend viewing for the great Quentin Tarantino, 1971’s The Cut-Throats, written and directed by John Hayes, checks off all of the boxes.
Featuring a bizarre western-infused introduction that has nothing to do with the rest of the flick (Django Unchained), a World War 2 set narrative (Inglourious Basterds), Nazisploitation (both Inglourious Basterds and Once Upon a Time. . . In Hollywood), a mostly confined setting (The Hateful Eight), a sword decapitation (the Kill Bill franchise), and quite a bit of foot fetish (the entire Quentin Tarantino filmography), hopefully you can really see what I’m talking about here.
About as low as you can go when it comes to budget and exploitation (or class, for that matter), the story follows a ragtag group of hand picked American military men, led by Captain Franklin B. Kohler III (E.J. Walsh). Having chosen six soldiers for a secret job, including strong-willed Sgt. Joseph Tackney (Jay Scott) and Pvt. John Lyons (Marland Proctor), one of these men is killed right off the bat, making this a Dirty Dozen halved.
Having discovered the location of the secret Golf and Country Club where the upper echelon Nazis are planning their final defensive in the last months of the war, this group are tasked with sneaking in, killing the commanders, and learning of their all important plans (so that they can end the war six weeks sooner). This Golf and Country Club is both aptly and unsuitably named – as it is so well hidden, it goes beyond rural (in fact, it looks so desert-like, it probably shouldn’t even be found – as it clearly isn’t even in Germany), while you’ll never see a golf course (strange). . . and the club looks more like a crack den, but probably in worse shape than one.
What lies inside this ramshackle and most private Country Club (that must be the problem – there are so few members they don’t have enough money for the upkeep) is quite the sight (and might be shocking), for the German General (William Guhl) and his team never seem to be planning, instead, spending the long days hiding their precious jewels. . . while using their royal jewels to enjoy the brothel aspects of the facility.
Completely unprepared for this sneak attack, the American G.I.’s are able to storm the shack, killing most. . . but failing to get the General – uh oh, now he’s on the lam. Finally finding some respite after far too long in the Sahara-like European countryside, the Americans find some Fräulein hospitality, led by the wily Matron (Janice Douglas). Overly friendly, could this all be a ploy by the ladies? Are they actually falling for these red blooded Americans, or is this a sexy form of Nazi trickery? Could the German General be planning a similar attack while these guys lay around and get laid?
A bizarre fusion of so many different aspects, war story meets both Nazisploitation and sexploitation. . . action in both senses of the word. You’ll even get a twist. Though this is by no means a winner (its pacing can be slow, the dialogue minimal – not in a good way, its story – quite basic), its edginess is its allure. Sitting in some sort of milieu that probably should never exist, it is not the type of thing you see everyday. For instance, where are you going to see an American soldier follow a German to her room – upon arriving, he finds a giant photo of Hitler, the Reichsadler (or Imperial Eagle), full blown Nazi bed sheets (with matching wall backdrop), while he must continuously stop what he is doing to return to the record player (the cranking variety). . . because there is no bigger aphrodisiac than listening to the collection of Hitler’s greatest public speeches! I dare you to try to find another example like this.
Plus, director Hayes actually does some really intriguing things – not taking the shortcut, the Germans actually speak German (usually we get the British accent somehow being its movie translation), while the relationships formed between the Americans and German ladies are where the real drama grows. . . some of the makeshift couples actually form a beautiful bond, while others are pure treachery – everything leading to a powder keg of love and violence at climax. And speaking of climax, you might just be surprised at how kinky and bizarrely sensual some of these sexploitation scenes actually are. . . with each of the women having their own famous skill (from a Roman Goddess masseuse to vaudevillian clown – they put on quite the show). Another pertinent question might be – will any Inglourious Basterds be produced on one of these wild nights?
Looking for a most obscure, out-there, dark Once Upon a Time piece of slightly Unchained wartime history, The Cut-Throats may just be for you (though, let’s face it – this one will have a limited audience). It is cheap gonzo goodness (and I use that word loosely), with enough smut to fill up anyone’s Reservoir. So, enjoy some World War 2 style Pulp Fiction the Quentin Tarantino way (and by that, I mean no socks), and find out if any of these soldiers are Death Proof.