No Caine, No Gain

Following in the recent action craze launched by John Wick, fusing it with The World is Not Enough Bond villain’s inability to feel pain, adding in some of the sadism found in Home Alone and its sequel, and throwing in some rough and tumble comedy to boot, Novocaine (2025), co-directed by Dan Berk and Robert Olsen, holds no punches, or perhaps packs quite the punch if you’d prefer. Not for the weak of heart... an early warning to the wise – if you don’t like R rated violence then this movie is likely not for you, as it does not hold back in any which way. Though it does contain action, comedy, and romance, don’t let those last two genres suggest that this is a light date night foray for couples.

Transporting its Italian comic book roots to the big screen, Danger: Diabolik (1968), directed by Mario Bava (Blood and Black Lace) and produced by powerhouse Dino De Laurentiis (Barbarella), plays like a vivid three dimensional escapade that fuses elements of swinging sixties spy chic, an early take on the anti-hero, a greedy twist on the Robin Hood tales of yore, and splashes of kitschy Batman (that is, the television series), all coming together for plenty of frivolous fun. The titular Diabolik (John Phillip Law) is a sort of master thief, a black spandex wearing, Jaguar E-type driving genius who thrives on stealing money from an unnamed European government – which, at best, is incompetent, at worst, corrupt users of their taxpaying base. Though, unlike Robin Hood, he keeps the oodles of cash for himself and his helpful mini-skirt wearing girlfriend Eva Kant (Marisa Mell).

What looks to be the closing note of Denzel Washington and director Antoine Fuqua’s trilogy (a rare thing for both men, as these are the only sequels they’ve ever done), The Equalizer 3 is a much more contemplative form of an action movie... a character with a violent past that is trying to work through it as he enters the final chapters of his life. Opening with a lengthy single take that shows the destruction that Robert McCall (Denzel Washington) can cause, it is a cinematic gem of a piece set in a baddie’s lair in Sicily... a strikingly stylized moment that leaves our lead wounded in body and soul.

In the same vein as other recent one man versus the world action films like Taken, The Equalizer, John Wick, and Nobody, 2024's The Beekeeper, directed by David Ayer, captures the same formula of stylish action combating rampant corruption that should appease fans of this style of flick. Following quiet man Adam Clay (Jason Statham), the retired gent spends all of his time as an apiarist – that is, a beekeeper. Renting space in a rural barn from a former teacher and avid charity worker, Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad), she is the first person to really show compassion and care for the reclusive renter.

Arguably one of the more bizarre buddy cop action/comedy films ever made, 1988's Dead Heat, written by Terry Black (brother of buddy cop screenwriter extraordinaire Shane Black – think Lethal Weapon and The Nice Guys... who cameos as a Patrolman in this one), and directed by Mark Goldblatt, fuses the tried and true formula within a Los Angeles set zombie storyline. Meet Doug Bigelow (Joe Piscopo) – cousin to Deuce, and Roger Mortis (Treat Williams) – and I think he’s the brother of Rigor, two officers who drive around town in a red 1960 Chevrolet Impala convertible – very inconspicuous. The former’s goofball jokey, the latter’s the more refined sort, together, they’re chaos.

2023's Sisu, written and directed by Jalmari Helander, is a Finnish word that does not translate easily to the English language, perhaps best explained as a sort of persistent rational determination in the face of much adversity... the perfect explanation for this Finnish/American co-production. Thriving in a very old reverse-hybrid form of Nazisploitation combined with classic western motifs and more than a splash of modern John Wick flair, Sisu follows Aatami (Jorma Tommila), a grizzled gold miner in the decimated Finnish Lapland nearing the end of World War II. Finally striking it rich, he transports it back to civilization with his loyal dog at his side.