Stealers Wheel

A few nights ago, I had a rather interesting brainstorm: for a change of pace (as most of my reviews are more seriously constructed), I would, from time to time, post completely fabricated facts revolving around the movie world. Some will poke fun at silly aspects found (or ignored) in films, while others will satirize the supposedly real happenings of the movie world behind the scenes. Just in case you haven’t seen the films joked at below, a very short synopsis has been added next to its bolded/italicized title. So, this is my first go at it. . . feel free to let me know what you think in the comments section below (and why not try your hand at creating something fun revolving around a feature you’ve recently seen).

Baby Driver, Atomic Blonde, Dunkirk. . . three movies over the past year or so that have set a new standard for the way music and sound are used in the context of movies. A Quiet Place continues the recent trend, with its clever use of sound, and the lack thereof, playing an integral role in this very unique horror film. Perhaps the closest thing to a silent movie since Academy Award Best Picture winner The Artist (2011), John Krasinski co-writes and directs this original story. A post-apocalyptic type tale, yet with all the beauty of nature, aliens have invaded the planet, decimating the population and causing fear and chaos to run rampant in the hearts and minds of the secluded populous that is left – the audience is not provided with a glance as to how all this happened, but rather, enters the tale eighty-nine days after first contact.

The English language has so many fascinating and underused words: conundrum, copasetic, and, most importantly, at least to this review, phantasm. . . a term that I would likely not even know if it wasn’t for two distinct sources – the works of Edgar Allan Poe as well as the title of the 1979 horror film Phantasm and its sequels. Defined as a figment of the imagination or disordered mind, as well as an apparition of a living or dead person, Poe often used it in reference to his characters, who wandered around in a fugue state, while writer/director Don Coscarelli visualizes this word, concocting a fantastical dream-like (or should I say, nightmarish) horror landscape. Seen through the eyes of thirteen year old Mike (A. Michael Baldwin), he is a boy who fears so much. Losing his parents to an accident, he constantly trails his older brother Jody (Bill Thornbury), worried that he too will leave him. To flash back for a moment, the movie actually opens with another death, that of a family friend who is killed after climaxing in a graveyard. . . the mysterious Lady in Lavender (Kathy Lester) finishing him off after she is satiated. Made to look like suicide, it is another unpleasant reminder of how death has haunted Mike’s short life. The only other person in their circle is Reggie (Reggie Bannister), a loyal, oft present friend of Jody’s.

Less of a critique than an observation, movies have clearly become freer in many respects – violence, nudity and profanity can now be littered throughout the narrative. . . yet, the twenty-first century has brought with it a more politically correct outlook, and stories are impeded in this very different respect (unlike films during the Motion Picture Production Code and after – which, for many reasons, were able to be more politically incorrect, for lack of a better term). Case and point, Abbott and Costello’s Pardon My Sarong, directed by Erle C. Kenton (Island of Lost Souls; Who Done It?). The piece of dialogue in question finds the comedic duo discussing marriage –

To Be or Not to Be walks a complicated tightrope – released in 1942, the World War II set comedy, even by today’s standards, could be called politically incorrect. Satirizing the horrible situation over in Europe (specifically Poland), co-adapter and director Ernst Lubitsch knew, like Charlie Chaplin before him (The Great Dictator), that it was vital to be able to laugh in the face of Hitler and the Nazis, both alleviating the tension of audiences back home with humour while also bringing the Axis power down a notch, highlighting their absurdly ridiculous doctrine and beliefs. A play, or should I say plays within a play, the story follows an acting troupe in Poland managed by producer/director Dobosh (Charles Halton). Starring the husband and wife team of Joseph (Jack Benny) and Maria Tura (Carole Lombard), they are currently bringing Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” to life. Preparing for their next play during the day, “Gestapo” is a satire revolving around Hitler and his cronies, comedy coming from the extensive use of “Heil Hitler”, an inquisition of a young child who the Nazis are worried will not talk, and a joke about how “They named a brandy after Napoleon, they made a herring out of Bismarck, and the Fuhrer is going to end up as a piece of cheese!”. Of course, Maria wants to wear a fashionable dress in a concentration camp scene much to the chagrin of Dobosh, though Greenberg (Felix Bressart), the lowly Jewish actor who desperately hopes of playing Shylock one day, suggests, “It’ll get a terrific laugh” – his go-to catch phrase. Other problems arise, with Dobosh equally unimpressed by Bronski’s (Tom Dugan) Hitler, saying, “I don’t know. . . it’s not convincing. To me, he’s just a man with a little mustache”, to which the makeup man replies, “But so is Hitler” – a line that really hits home.

A rare example of a movie that is less known than (most of) its remakes, Luc Besson’s Nikita (also known as La Femme Nikita), released in 1990, has spawned an American big screen adaptation (1993's Point of No Return, starring Bridget Fonda and Gabriel Byrne), as well as two popular television series: Joel Surnow’s show, centred around Peta Wilson, ran for five seasons starting in 1997; while another version began airing on The CW in 2010, lasting four years, with the heroine this time brought to life by Maggie Q. The only version, hinted at above, that is lesser known than the original feature is a 1991 Hong Kong action remake titled Black Cat. An influential French/Italian co-production from one of the modern masters of action (think Léon: The Professional, The Fifth Element, and Taken – which he wrote and produced), Besson transports us into a strange world, feeling almost dystopic, with a Mad Max-of-the-city type feel. In this landscape we find four hoodlums walking the streets, breaking into a drug store to feed their drug fix. Challenged by a brave store owner (who lives above the shop) and the heavily armed police, the only one of the quartet left alive is Nikita (Anne Parillaud), a wild card punk – she is a violent junkie sociopath with the ear biting skills of Mike Tyson and the unflappable hand of a master marksman.