Ohm My God

If you are looking for something different in the world of vampires, odds are, no matter how outrageous your vampiric fantasy, it has already been done. Above and beyond the widely known Universal and Hammer features, we’ve seen whiny teen vampires – that’s Twilight, bloodsuckers in Alaska – 30 Days of Night, an African American creature of the night – Blacula, the dangers of a ravenous armpit that loves to feed on humans – Rabid, vampires in space – Lifeforce, mechanical bug bites that transform you into the undead – Cronos, cape wearers doing kung fu – Kung Fu from Beyond the Grave, and then we have today’s feature, 1974's Vampira (a.k.a. Old Dracula). . . its secondary title an attempted American cash-in after the release of Young Frankenstein.

A tradition every October here on Filmizon.com, I’ve decided that I would highlight some of the horror movies that did not meet my strict criteria (a rating of 7.0 or higher). . . as I realized that they are still entertaining films (horror fanatics may enjoy) that do not deserve to be locked away in an attic, never to be seen again – and that they are definitely worth a watch (just maybe not several re-watches).

Eighteen years before Scary Movie ruthlessly parodied countless horror tropes (leading to four sequels that varied from hilarious to unwatchable), there was an original spoof film that prodded at the intricacies of the horror genre, 1982's Wacko, directed by Greydon Clark. In a way comparable to Mel Brooks’ High Anxiety (I know what you’re thinking – how?), Brooks and his team fell into the trap of spending more time trying to honour and satirize Alfred Hitchcock’s motion pictures instead of forming a workably entertaining story. Similarly, the most fun you’ll have watching this disjointed effort is looking for the references to other horror movies – and less so the product as a whole.

Alfred Hitchcock was always looking for a good challenge – a way to test the boundaries of film, as well as wow his audiences. In 1944, he built a gripping thriller set in the smallest of locations. . . on a Lifeboat. Four years later he challenged himself to shoot murder mystery Rope (again in one location) to look like a single continuous take – due to limitations of the time, it was actually done in ten lengthy takes. In 1954, he tried his hand at 3D. . . though many think of this as a modern day thing, Dial M for Murder fits right within this kitschy novelty’s golden age (1952-54). Then, to get past censors, he reverted to black and white for 1960's Psycho. Yet one of his biggest challenges came with 1963's The Birds (a story loosely based upon Daphne du Maurier’s novel of the same name) – not simply because it would be a complicated film to make, but because it was made without any music (actually, it was his longtime musical collaborator Bernard Herrmann who suggested this). After lengthy years of working under the Motion Picture Production Code (aka, the Hays Code), its grip was finally starting to waver – though it would last until 1968, Hitchcock finally had a little more freedom to amp up the edginess.

Like The Exorcist hopped up on a lethal combination of steroids and Viagra, 1979's Malabimba, directed by envelope pushing Andrea Bianchi (for a reminder of his more well known work, think of his playfully edgy 1975 giallo Strip Nude for Your Killer), is an Italian motion picture not for the faint of heart. . . or you, like one of the characters in the film, might find yourself stone cold. Of course, reading this, I’m sure most will think that this is some sort of poorly done, sleazy exploitation piece attempting to capitalize on the aforementioned horror classic. And though the second sentiment is wholly true, the former is most definitely not so.

‘Capitalize’ is the word of the day – and boy was it well conceived. Meaning both ‘to take a chance to gain advantage’ as well as ‘to provide with money’, both definitions speak to today’s motion picture. . . for Terror Train (1980) arrived in theatres just two short years after the seminal slasher movie Halloween (right in the heart of the horror boom), taking a somewhat similar premise to the aforementioned movie while also bringing that film’s star, Jamie Lee Curtis, along for the bumpy ride (talk about trying to ‘capitalize’ on the present cinematic situation. . . and, in the end, they basically doubled its limited 4.2 million dollar budget). A Canadian production (in many ways, Canadians were experts at developing these slasher flicks – think of arguably the first of the sub-genre – Black Christmas, as well as Prom Night, My Bloody Valentine, Happy Birthday to Me. . .), recently I reviewed the big budget 1998 James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies, directed by Roger Spottiswoode. . . what was he doing eighteen years prior? Directing this low budget horror film (his first ever directorial effort).